Most of my life I have been labeled the “good girl”. Teachers always liked me in school. I followed and still mostly follow the rules. I do what people want, even if it causes me stress or pain sometimes. I won awards at school. I went to college and kept good grades.
On the outside I usually appear to be good, but one of my deepest fears is that people will one day discover the bad inside of me. They’ll see my hateful thoughts and insincere motives. To avoid that I just keep striving to maintain the image in their eyes and my own.
Then I remember… I am no good without God.
I say to the Lord, “You are my Lord; I have no good apart from you.” Psalm 16:1
God sees all that I am, clean and dirty. There is no hiding or masking with him. Gratefully I fall at his feet because Jesus’ blood is strong enough to cover all of the things I don’t want to be exposed. Without the sacrifice of Jesus, the worst exposure of all would happen at the close of my earthly life. It is bad enough when I fail and disappoint people, but to fail and disappoint God with my life would be torture. Thankfully, because of Jesus, I am made righteous.
As the psalmist says, “the Lord is my chosen portion and my cup” (Psalm 16:5) because why would I follow any other gods? They can’t satisfy me in the same way. They didn’t sacrifice their lives, so I could have a relationship with them. They just don’t measure up to my God.
I have set the Lord always before me; because he is at my right hand, I shall not be shaken. Therefore my heart is glad, and my whole being rejoices. Psalm 16:8