Posted in Monologues from the Cross

Monologues from the Cross: Judas

I am Judas, ashamed and guilty. I followed Jesus, but looking back I realize that I made many mistakes. My greed started small, stealing a bit of spare change every once in a while from the treasury. It was easy since I was trusted with the money for all of the disciples. Every time though I would take just a bit more. So when I heard that the priests were looking for a way to convict Jesus, I devised a plan. I went to them and asked how much they would give me to lead them to Jesus. They gave me thirty pieces of silver, not much for a life but it seemed like a fortune at the time.

While we were eating the Passover meal together, Jesus started talking about someone betraying him. I knew in the pit of my stomach that he was talking about me. I asked him and he simply told me that I had said it. The feeling stayed with me throughout the evening as Jesus served us the bread and wine, but I managed to brush the feeling away when Jesus told Peter that Peter would deny him three times that evening. Surely that’s who Jesus was referring to even though he all but told me he was talking about me.

In fear of retaliation from the priests, I continued with the plan. I guess you could say the 30 gold coins weighed heavily in my hand, and my greed led to me betray the one man who had ever shown absolute kindness to me. I led the soldiers directly to Jesus. He took it well and even told the other disciples to put down their weapons. It was as if he knew what was coming. In the moment, I convinced myself that I was doing what was right, but looking back I realized it was a grave mistake.

I couldn’t take the guilt of what I had done, sending an innocent man to die for a mere 30 pieces of silver. So I tried to right my wrong. I took the  money back to the priests and explained that Jesus was innocent. They didn’t listen. I couldn’t keep the coins and I couldn’t live with myself.

I plead with you to listen to my story. Greed is not just something of the old days. Greed still exists today and always will exist. It can overtake your heart and make you do things that will later cause you regret. I had moments of doubt about what I was doing, but I let the money lead me to do something terrible. I betrayed Jesus, an innocent man who had only shown kindness to me. If I had just stopped to think for one moment about why I was betraying Jesus I might have realized that 30 coins is measly compared to the life of a friend.



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