School starts this week, and for the first time in my life, I will not be attending. When I first started planning this post in my head last week, I thought I would feel sad at this moment. I imagined an empty ache would ring in my heart. But that’s not the feeling I am experiencing. Yes, it’s odd, but it’s also strangely exciting. There won’t be any papers to stress me out or discussions to attempt to stay awake during. Of course there also won’t be any friends to meet on the sidewalk or crazy late night study sessions. I can’t just waltz over across the hall to my friend’s room or tell someone to meet me for dinner in five minutes. Things get a bit more complicated from now on, but I’ve always liked a good complication to struggle with.
The most exciting part of this new step in my life is the possibility. My entire life lies before me. Yes, I kind of have a sense of what I want to do, but who knows where God might take me. In the immediate present, I am super excited about working with the BCM. I met with the leader today to discuss ideas and we are chock full. I sure hope those college students are ready for us. The elementary tutoring job is a bit daunting, but I am starting to realize that God can use me and mold me during this experience as well. He can teach me about being out of my comfort zone and give me an opportunity to share his love with some kids who might feel a bit unloved.
I do expect some loneliness and nostalgia simply because I’m not living in a dorm room with my best friend or going to classes every day. The pay is much better but the drive is farther. There are ups and downs to this next part of my life, but I think I’m ready to take it all in. God has so much in store for me and I’m just ready to be used for his purpose. After all, what else matters?