Posted in Life


Sometimes when you have 3 best friends, it is natural that your group splits into pairs.  I have three really close friends here at college and sometimes there is tension when something happens and someone is left out.  Jealousy begins to form, which is not healthy to the dynamics of the group as a whole.  This is usually because we split into little “mini-cliques.”  It’s either two or three that will bond for one activity or secret and someone or someones get left out.  For example, when deciding where to eat, it seems that three of us can agree on something but the fourth one wants something else.  It’s never the same fourth disagreeable person though, so you can’t blame them for just being picky.

Also whenever we go somewhere we tend to split into pair regarding what we want to do.  This could be because two of us enjoy shopping while the other two are much more active outdoors based.  We can all handle both to a certain extent, but if we had our first pick for the most part we split into pairs.  The problem is we want to do things all together.  Sometimes this causes arguments and someone feels pressured to do something they don’t particularly feel like doing at the moment. Interest plays a part in friendships.

I can imagine that this happens in many friendships.  I remember in high school I had 4 close friends, sometimes 5.  We tended to split into pairs as to who we confided certain things to.  Usually this decided by who we saw the most.  For example, one girl I saw everyday after school because our mom’s worked together and we both waited on them.  Another girl I saw at church on Sundays and Wednesdays.  My best guy friend and I were in band together.  Those were the ones I confided in.  This is not to say that I did not talk to the others, but I just did not see them as much. Proximity plays a part in friendships.

I’m not sure how to really solve this “problem” of groups of close friends pairing up or if it really is a problem at all.  It’s harder to talk to a group than it is to talk to one person.  The only time it truly becomes a problem is when the group  becomes cliquey and some people won’t talk to other people.  As long as everyone feels comfortable with everyone, some differences are good.  Actually some disagreements are beneficial as well as long as they’re handled like mature humans.



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